Posts Tagged ‘work’

Now I want so much to be understood by my kids. I wonder, “Do you get it? Do you see why I made these choices? Do I ever get to grow up, or do I always stay that limited ‘mom’?”

I was a very tired young parent because I did my thing with the kids all day, put them to bed, and then I tried to have my own seven- to eight-hour (work) day. I didn’t go to bed until three or four every morning. My husband got up with the kids, so I’d have […]


In 2008, at the Beijing Olympics, all of these kids were getting ready to swim. They were thinking that this moment would be the most important thing that would ever happen to them. But, in my world, as the only mother swimming in the Olympics, I knew that having my daughter was the most important thing.

Before kids, I guess I had a lot of free time. Life was more about me. I was always swimming. I started swimming when I was seven and training seriously by the age of 11. I went to my first Olympics in 1984. Since then, I have been putting in six hours of swimming every […]


If I had to give my daughters one piece of advice as they enter adulthood, I would say “Just because something seems hard and other people perceive it as a big stretch for you, that doesn’t mean that you should not keep reaching for it.”

If I had to give my daughters one piece of advice as they enter adulthood, I would say “Just because something seems hard and other people perceive it as a big stretch for you, that doesn’t mean that you should not keep reaching for it.” Before kids, I was pretty career-driven. I was living in […]


I had all three of my children in the Netherlands. The difference between having a baby there versus here is night and day. We’re just crazy-making here in the U.S.

When I got divorced at 33, I was sad not only because of the end of my marriage, but suddenly also because I might not have children. I might not meet the right person in time. Which seems crazy in hindsight. I could have tried parenthood on my own. But my ideas of what I […]


In the end, on my death bed, who cares if I built five more buildings? It’s really my experiences, my relationships and my family that will mean the most to me.

I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I just didn’t know how I was going to marry it with my career. I had gone to an Ivy League graduate school, and worked in Boston at a large firm and then moved to Japan to work in another firm. I loved practicing architecture, but […]


I don’t feel the same pressure to do as well with my academics in order to make sure that I become a tenured professor. I realize that following these more personal goals have an incredible value, too.

How did I decide to become a mother? I was talking with a client about her long-term goals and whether her behaviors would lead to those goals. It dawned on me that if I were to look at my own long-term goals of eventually becoming a mom to more than one kid, what I was […]


I think motherhood makes you shed some layers to get down to what’s really important. At the core, I am the same, but there is a little more of the core shining through.

My name is Carrington. I am 40 years old. My son’s name is Griffin, and he is six. In my early 30s, a lot of my friends started having kids to complete a life that they had dreamt of. They would say, “I’ve always wanted two kids” or something along those lines. For me, that […]


I see my mother very differently. I see how little I thought about what she was going through. I have a lot more respect for everything that she’s done.

I am 42. I have 2 sons: Bennett who is 10, and Henry who is 8. Before children, I was young. I had a lot of energy. I was focused on putting my career experiences in my bank. I had been to school a lot. I have two Master’s degrees and a third undergraduate degree. […]


The first time I had to operate on a child [after having my daughter], I remember looking down and thinking this is someone’s child.

 


I really did expect myself to be good at everything before I had my kids.

My name is Kate. I am 42. My children’s names are Sofia and she’s 8 and Aliza and she’s almost 3. Before I had children I lived in San Francisco with my husband Chris. We’d been together as a couple for a long time. I was working at a daily newspaper, covering criminal justice. I […]


I was mobilized to Iraq in December. It was totally different (going back as a mother).

I am a veterinarian by training, but I was in the military at the time my son was born. At that point, work was my life. I didn’t love it but I always thought of it as a means to an end. I didn’t want to have to depend on someone else. My self-identity was […]