Endings: The Children Leave Home

[As a behavioral neuroscientist, I know that] The problem-solving associated with having children enriches your brain. You’re doing things you would not have been doing before. You’re active. You’re engaged. This is what we’re all about. This is why we’re here.

May 14, 2013 | Discuss

Before kids, I was hard working, focused and goal-oriented, but I still found time to enjoy my relat…

More in Endings: The Children Leave Home

• Now I want so much to be understood by my kids. I wonder, “Do you get it? Do you see why I made these choices? Do I ever get to grow up, or do I always stay that limited ‘mom’?”
• You have to give up control. You may never know what the arc of their lives will look like. They may peak long after you’re gone.
• In the end, on my death bed, who cares if I built five more buildings? It’s really my experiences, my relationships and my family that will mean the most to me.
• The other morning I was thinking to myself I have literally lived half my life in fear. I think that that’s what you open yourself up to when you have children. You never really sleep that well again.
• I mean, nobody hands you a baby and says, “Get ready, because in 15 years, he’s going to start using drugs and you’re going to have to handle it.”